Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Drive By

What's up with all these "Northern guys" and their not so shy behavior??? While in the car yesterday with some friends, we were stared at, smiled at, spoken about, motioned to and maybe even winked at? A bunch of guys in their car (clearly not Dhofari) were committing a drive by flirt. At first I was confused, so I stared back, thinking that something was wrong with the car or that the guys were trying to tell us something. Then my Dhofari girlfriend said "DONT STARE BACK, IGNORE THEM, THEIR NORTHERN GUYS!!!" what the heck does that mean? Apparently, Northern guys have poor adab (etiquette) when it comes to women. They purposefully try to flirt by trying to get girls attention?

If they only knew, two of us are married WITH children and only one is single...and not looking.


  1. Ahh... Northern guys... Wish they would learn what respect means. If you mean Northen by Muscat people then yes, they don't care about respect or anything but do what they want. (teenagers mostly)

    If some "Northern" people don't like what I said, BITE ME! I am from Muscat and I see how the teenagers act and how some adults are. Our society is going down the drain...

  2. Why didn't you call anyone you know from dhofar to show them the right way and how to be stright?
    you should take plate number it is not funy.

  3. It is really not funny. I hate hearing these things about my own people. I live in Muscat but I am Dhofari from the heart. I see how the people live now in the city with no respect for each other. Everybody wants to be like the foreingners and live like they want. One guy I was friends with is DATING a girl in the college. They meet every night and she tells her parents she is with a friends. Rania stay away from those people. You have the right to tell them to stop flirting!

    good blog thanx

  4. Rania this is not new. I hate to break it to you but Dhofari men do the same thing. Ive had my bouts with them while driving my car. They seem to think blondes driving alone is cause to be harassed. I'm used to it, frankly. Don't pay any mind to them, take it as a compliment, thats what I do.

    Keep smilin'

  5. Dhofaris flirt with Western women because they know the woman won't know who they are.

    They can't flirt with Dhofari girls very much because within half an hour, the guy's family will find out. Everyone is too connected!

  6. so you have too much knowledge about Dhfaris way of life abroad have't you Nadai it seems logical by the life is the first priority for them.
    You got the marrow out of its bone.

  7. shes absolutely right. they dont do it with dhofaris because they might even end up being cousins without knowledge and everyones gonna find out.

  8. ... hmmm, therefore, good manners, polite behaviour, cultural traditions, religion ... none of these really mean anything ... as it's 'social life' that dictates behaviour, not fear of God (which should be our only mortal fear), that prevents dhofaris from harassing their own women - but merely fear of repercussions ... how sad ...

    … but also interesting ... and expats are simply supposed to forget about these incidents, or laugh them off, or ... what? ... how do dhofaris expect expats to respect their culture if they don't respect them in return? ... or is it that they believe harassment is a cultural tradition of the west? … what would happen if an expat male decided to 'flirt' with local girls? ... just a rhetorical question ...

    … i don’t think of it as a compliment like BD – frankly, it’s rude and annoying, and i just wanna slap them … which, by the way, i would totally do – and have done – in my country … big difference though, there the occassions are so rare, with construction workers and truck drivers being the offenders, whereas here it is a constant annoyance …

    ... not to mention the fact that it doesn’t seem to matter what one wears, or how conservatively dressed, or even old, the expat woman is … which actually in my opinion shouldn’t even matter – if a local of a western country made even half as rude gestures, or comments to or about a muslim expat woman in their own western country, that local would be severely reprimended by his/her own government …

    … so, if western countries can have laws that protect the cultural and religious integrity of others living/residing in that country – shouldn’t expats of those same countries have the right to expect and receive the same show of respect in return? …


  9. Anonymous: thank you for your comments, you couldn't have put it better. I totally agree, treat people the way you want to be treated!

    but about western countries having laws to protect cultural, religious integrity....
    I was harrassed waaaayyy too many times to even begin to count... by my OWN people for my religious choices.

    I think overall, here in Oman, westerners are treated with far more respect and hospitality than the other way around.

  10. Dear Rania, you are spot on! - Overall, Omanis are a very respectful, friendly, and hospitable people! Furthermore, I sympathize with the harassment you had to endure, and am in no way trying to say that harassment does not happen in western countries ...

    However, I do believe that the harassment in western countries tends to be executed BY westerners TOWARDS other westerners ... people that culturally belong to the majority of the western local population, and that are somehow or other deemed to be inadequately 'normal', whatever that means, or that do not do everything possible to 'fit in', or that simply make choices that are not considered the norm, and hence, are looked at askance.

    This, unfortunately, is what you had to endure and experience. But isn't it the same here in Oman? Are Omanis going to be accepting and friendly toward one of their own, if he/she decided to convert to Christianity or Buddhism? I know a young Omani woman who is in love with a westerner (Muscat). She has a special, hidden, pre-packed suitcase, to use when their love is discovered. They will go to the west, get married, and she knows this means she will never see her family again. So much about choices ... and she's not even changing her religion!

    I say this based on my own experiences - I do not know which country you originally hail from, but my experience is based on a European/Canadian heritage ... The US will never manage to be as multiculturally understanding and accepting as Canada. The main reason, probably because no one in Canada really is Canadian - most of us are Canadian-something, and this totally puts a different spin on things. After all, the Americans have decided that Sep. 11th is really Canada's fault, for not being discriminatory enough. Trust me, there is no way that a Canadian, 99.9%, is ever going to harass or abuse a minority of any kind - I should know, I am a member of one of the minorities :)

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