"Oh my God she went under my dress!!"

Those were the last words uttered by Leah (my guest) while visiting the in-laws. I'm still laughing about it, because I remember saying the EXACT same thing when it happened to me. I took Leah to visit some of Sam's family so that she could get the whole "Dhofari cultural experience". She was treated with such hospitality and kindness that at one point she swore "she should have married an Omani", I told her not to get ahead of herself!

Anyway, after a delicious Omani lunch (dinner to western standards), my sister-in-law brought out the infamous Bukhoor. It smelled amazing of course and Leah was curious about its history and what its used for yahda yahda yahda...

When my sister-in-law tells her to stand up, Leah looks at me for approval. I smile, knowing exactly what is about to happen. She stands shyly and my sister-in-law lifts up her make-shift abaya and puts the burner under her dress. I watch Leahs face change colors as the burner moves higher up her dress. As the smoke seeps through and while my sister-in-law is trying to tell Leah that she will smell so nice and that her husband will be all over her etc, I can't help but crack up just watching the look on Leah's face.  Her cheeks turn all bright red and she is so flushed and embarrassed that I almost think she might cry. I tell my sister-in-law I think thats good enough and Leah sits down besides me and whispers "Oh my God she went under my dress" through a fake smile.

For most people this is no big deal. But for Leah (and when it first happened to me), for some reason, putting something under our dress is... embarrassing? You just don't expect something like that, its strange. Now I am so used to it and welcome it. I laughed even more when Leah later shared with me she was wearing a thong that day and was afraid my sister-in-law would somehow figure that out. Don't worry Leah, your secret is safe with me (ha ha).

As a parting gift I gave Leah enough Bukhoor to keep her non-Omani husband all over her for years to come!

What is Bakhoor?

Bakhoor (Arabic بخور) is the name given to scented woodchips (Oudh the Arabic name for Agarwood/Aloeswood) soaked in fragrant oils and mixed with other natural ingredients (resin, musk, sandalwood , essential oils and others) . These scented chips are burned in charcoal or incense burners to perfume the house and clothing with a rich thick smoke.  It is nearly essential to use on special occasions like weddings or during Eid.

Bakhoor in Salalah

In Salalah it is used daily to perfume the house and is said to have natural healing powers. Many Dhofaris make their own bukhoor and keep their secret recipes for family only. Each bukhoor formula has a different cleansing, healing or purifying effect.  Although very effective, it is not just a way of masking bad smells, but a way to refresh your heart and mind. Many believe that it can even ward off bad spirits (jinn)!. 

During Ramadan in Salalah it is burned in the Mosques in hopes of altering ones mood by bringing peaceful, refreshing and inspiring feelings and to honor the holy month. It is also noted for its memory increasing power and is burned when reciting Qur'an. 

It is traditional in Salalah and many Arab countries to pass bukhoor amongst the guests in the Majlis (Arabic مجلس,  sitting/living room) this is done as a gesture of hospitality. Men will usually place their kumma or ammama (turban) over the smoke to get the fragrance and women put the smoke under their clothing until the smoke seeps through leaving a wonderful smell.

Heres a typical traditional recipe for homemade Dhofari bukhoor. Pound and mix ingredients, adding perfumes. Leave the blend for at least 10 days in a tightly sealed jar to ferment, then use.

3 cups sandal oil

1 cup musk

1 cup tola snails

1 cup oud oil

How to use Bukhoor

1. You will need to get a hold of a Mabkhara (traditional incense burner), there are a few names for this. You can get an electric one as well, however I find the traditional ceramic ones to be better for burning the bakhoor slowly and more effectively.

2. You will need charcoal which you can get virtually anywhere around here. Place a piece of charcoal on your stove and heat it until the edges burn red, do not leave it for two long.  Transfer the burning charcoal into your incense burner (use tongs!!)

3. Then put enough bakhoor to sit on the charcoal and it should start smoking immediately and expel a nice fragrance. If it smells like burnt toast this means your charcoal was too hot and the bakhoor is burning too quickly. You can perfume a room by closing the windows and leaving the Mabkhara there for a few minutes.

4. To perfume your clothing just place the cloth directly over the smoke and allow it to soak up the smoke for about 3 minutes. Scent can certainly have a deep subconscious impact on a person. For me, bukhoor relaxes me and puts me into a tranquil subdued mood. It reminds me of my days in Medina.

My two cents: If you have allergies bukhoor is not for you as it takes up a lot of oxygen in a room. Burning bakhoor unattended is obviously very dangerous and Salalah is known for "unexplainable" fires. Please do not burn bakhoor too much around small children, although many argue its benefits are great, it is afterall smoke inhaled and deposited into your lungs.

The Perfect Stranger

Have you ever been so shocked and touched by an act of kindness from a complete and total stranger? One that left you to reflect on your own kindness and question whether you’ve been selfless enough? Well, its happened to me many times, but for some reason here in Salalah, its been happening almost…often? Someone, usually a stranger, does something entirely selfless for me.

We were being really adventuress this past weekend. We packed up our igloo on thursday night and when the sun rose we set off into the desert. It was beautiful. Romantic. The mountains, the trees, the sand and the beaches all seemed more perfect than the day before. Two hours into our drive, our eyes caught a glimpse of a distant a part of beach that was simply too gorgeous not to venture to. The only thing separating us and the beach was …..SAND of course (soft sand).

Without a thought we swerved to the right off the paved road and cut through into the beautiful sand. The exhiliration lasted 4 seconds, our tires never experienced it. The car wouldn’t move. The tires spun in the sand digging us deeper in. Reverse, nada, Drive, nada, Neutral, nada. Not a person in sight, no sign of civilization and we were stuck. Of course being a woman, a million thoughts ran through my head. "We’re gonna die here, there’s no cell phone reception, well at least we have water, ok so we’ll ration our sandwiches and worse come to worse we can walk to the beach and find fish until help comes?"

So, we got out of the car, and being rookies in the desert we tried to dig ourselves loose. Of course that didn’t work. Then we tried to push our car, our huge car. It didn’t budge, barely shook. Darn this brand new defiant car!. After 45 minutes and no more ideas we resigned to eat lunch... in the car. I thought to myself, but dared not say aloud "You call yourself Omani and can't get us out of the sand?" lol. Before I could finish my rationed sandwich, we heard another car. Hubby jumped out of the car to wave our saviour down. The car was going so fast, so furious, I thought for sure the guy in it didn't even see us! His car zigzagged through, passed us in seconds, practically skipping in the sand.  I could almost swear, I heard it whistle it was so happy. My mouth agape I thought “How the HECK can that, old beat up car go through the sand soooo easily and our brand new defiant car wont even crawl????!

By Gods Mercy, the car zigzags over to us, the driver rolls his window down to talk to Sam. A minute later the guy gets out of his car so excited, opens our door and shakes Sams hand smiling from ear to ear praising God and swears to help (at least that’s what I could make out). He skips away in his car and we’re left in the sand again. I wonder to myself if the guy will ever come back. I ask hubby to translate what the guy said. "He's gonna come back with a rope". I roll my eyes thinking "yeah right, where is he going to get a rope in the middle of nowehere?" Well, a little over 30 minutes later, yes, skipping of course (and whistling), he comes back with a rope and in minutes we are rescued. This perfect stranger drove out all the way to his home, got a rope, drove back to us and then insisted we come to his families home for tea!!!. We were truly touched. We very politely declined and kept thanking him for his help, I even convinced Sam to offer money(total insult I learned). But you should know, you can’t say “no” to an Omani.

We were so graciously served hot tea and were with wonderful company. I tried my best to communicate in broken Arabic. By the end of our visit we were sad to say goodbye. I wont ever forget them. They also convinced me to try camping in the desert during winter. I think I'll take their advice, maybe next weekend?

And about the skipping car, Khalid (our saviour) advised us; “New cars no good. Old, much better.”

Have you ever been touched with selfless kindness by a total stranger?